If Cussing Means Intelligence, I Must Be a Genius
(And Probably the Smartest Woman Alive)
You know that moment when you stub your toe or step on your kid's Legos, and a string of expletives escapes your lips faster than you can say "ouch"? According to some studies, this reflex might be a sign of higher intelligence. If that’s true, then I should probably be giving TED Talks on quantum physics by now.
The Science of Swearing
There's actual research suggesting that people who cuss are not only more intelligent but also more honest, creative, and better at handling pain. It’s like the universe finally decided to reward those of us who’ve mastered the art of colorful language with a little extra brainpower.
A Day in the Life of a Genius (Me)
Let’s take a journey through my daily life, where every minor inconvenience—from the asshole who cut me off in traffic to the fucktard who walked through the door I opened for myself, or the twat waffle who didn’t get my order right after I repeated it 20 times—is met with a torrent of high-IQ vocabulary. Picture this: I’m cussing like a sailor with my PhD in expletives. My vocabulary is so advanced, it could make the Urban Dictionary blush and leave even the most seasoned sailor gasping for breath.
If intelligence were measured in swear words, I'd be sitting at the top of a skyscraper, waving down at the rest of you.
Real Talk
If swearing is a sign of intelligence, I’m basically running circles around Mensa members with a vocabulary that could make Shakespeare's ghost raise an eyebrow. Imagine the intellectual heights I could reach if I applied this genius to deciphering ancient texts or designing rockets. But instead, I’m here, shouting creatively at the printer that refuses to cooperate, as if it’s the final frontier of my intellectual prowess.
Final Thoughts from the Master of Expletives
So, the next time someone tells you to watch your language, just remind them that you’re simply too smart for regular words. And if that doesn’t work, well, you know what to say next.
Sign-Off
Here’s to all the other brilliant minds out there—keep swearing and keep shining!
When I was a young child, I asked my mom, "Is it okay to say fuck it?" She said no, that's not nice to say. Then I asked, is it okay to say, "God Bless?" She said, yes, that's okay. For a couple of months, I used the latter expression in a tone that expressed the first. :)
It's the thought that matters.
This is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. Thanks to the Diva Deep Dive for sending me into the plunge. On one of my posts where I was distinguishing between cussing and slurs (no words left to describe it that haven't been misappropriated by the woke crowd), ArtemisForestFairy wrote:
"As for Cursing, we do it copiously. (there is a book about it called "Holy sh*t" which is why i do so) I made a game of it. called troll. the insult must be accurate, descriptive and contain only one curse word. the one that makes your adversary laugh in sheer admiration of the glory of it wins. (too many curse words at once and they loose their impact and potency and are a sure sign of low intellect and lack of creativity.) we value creative dialogue a great deal, but it must be true. no ad hominem (yes i made them learn the trivium and logical fallacies)."
Isn't that fabulous? Wish I'd thought of it.